Is Anyone Really Who They Say They Are?
I just hung up the phone with a guy who is helping me with our upcoming global launch of Six Days To Saturday. We were chatting about a bunch of things and the topic of integrity came up. He warned me to be very careful of some of the known crooks online who will find me once I’m ultra-successful. I’m not sure what ‘ultra-successful’ means but I assume it’s when you become more well known than you are right now.
He gave me examples of people who have a large online presence and told me things about them that were shocking. I didn’t believe him at first so he had me search their name and specific keywords after their name.
Wow.
Most people are just blowhards. They gossip about others and most of it isn’t true. This guy came with the proof. I said ” That is depressing. I believed this guy was the real deal.”
My friend laughed and said “Sam. it’s not even the tip of the iceberg brother.”
I must admit, I have become cynical over the past 24 months. I find myself less trusting of others and unwilling to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. I’m not sure that’s the best way to go through life but it beats having blind faith.
I like Ronald Reagan’s old line about “Trust, then verify.” I think Reagan had it right. It’s OK to trust someone but if you’re going to go to the next level with them, be sure you verify they are who they say they are.
Do you feel the same way?
Have you been misled in business or your personal life? Have you placed your trust in someone only to be let down?
What happened as a result?
(I would love to hear your story when you reply on the blog post)
I have seen examples of non-truths when searching my name or business online. A few people have made statements that are 100% false – I’m not even speaking about negative statements – I mean glowing ones. It’s amazing how people just put anything out there and run with it.
Of course there are going to be erroneous negative statements about you once you hit a certain level of exposure. That’s just the cost of doing business. I’ve been blasted more than a few times for my ‘arrogance’ or ‘attitude’ but that only tells me that I have arrived:) Seriously, would you rather nobody be talking about you if you’re trying to build an online presence? I would prefer the information be accurate but there is no online editor stories have to run through.
I remember a former executive in our organization retired. I have never seen a more hated man in all my life. Nobody liked him. He was a tyrant that stepped on people every day on his way to the top of the corporate pyramid. Every time he left the room, his subordinates would blast him – wishing he would not wake up the next day. I mean this dude was Public Enemy #1!
Then one day after he retired, a buddy of mine sent me a link to his new website where all his former co-workers were on video praising him. I couldn’t believe it.
These were the same people who put this guy right behind Hitler in the social food chain and now they’re smiling into the camera saying how great he is as a leader and person.
That’s when Internet testimonials jumped the shark for me.
I know him and I knew the phonies who were praising him. It made me sick to my stomach.
Here’s my advice:
If you’re in business – be 100% transparent. If you have skeletons in your closet, get them out as quickly as you can – get ahead of the news because eventually it will all come out.
Also remember that nobody is perfect. You’re going to upset someone along the way who will go online and blast the hell out of you. Like Reggie Jackson used to say; ‘They don’t boo nobodys’.
Get some thick skin and stay true to who you are. Be sure your moral compass is set correctly and then go for it. Life is too short to worry about what others may say about you. However, life is also long enough that trying to be someone you are not will catch up to you.
Be yourself
Be true
Be great
Be a Champion
Then go for it!
Sam
Champions Speak Out
Roxana
On August 9, 2009 at 10:11 am
Fantastic Sam! I agree. I tried to go into business with 2 people that turned out not to be who I though they were. It quickly became apparent that they did not share the same vision, so I left it, rather than put myself through more months of agonizing pain and exhaustion so that I could take part in my business plan that had been hacked to bits by two people that did not resepect or understand my vision. What was left of that business barely resembled “my saturday”. I learned a great deal from the experience and I am grateful for the journey. I am wiser because of it. I also realized that being a real estate agent is not for me either at this time. I may pick the RE business up later, but for now I have put that on hold. I am now working on two projects close to my heart and I am determined to live “my saturday”. Thanks for your inspiring message and to reaching out to so many! Keep up the incredible work! You are changing lives through changing perspectives. Life is meant to be enjoyed. We all have our gifts to share.
Jeeff
On August 9, 2009 at 10:44 am
Trust, then verify?….Trust is earned. It is being earned with every action and interaction, every day. All that built up trust can be completely obliterated with a single action or word. If you want to be trusted, to be known as a person of integrity, you must work hard at it every day in everything that you do and say…..it starts from day 0..that is, BEFORE you even think of being in any type of business.
I don’t think Trust, then verify works….at least not always. If you are going to trust your livelihood to someone, I think you should trust marginally, verify then look for all things that you can allow trust to be built up as well as watching for things that can potentially destroy all that was built.
Trust lost is much harder to rebuild and can sometimes be futile to even try….after you lost the trust, everything you do is under the microscope….
Max Ikbal
On August 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Here’s what bothers me Sam, these people that you refer to, who are in business and have a huge presence, seem to get bigger and more exposure, even when significant number of people have discovered the not-so-honest side of their character. I just don;t understand why…WHY do people keep putting their trust in these folks when they have been burned once. Would it not make sense that their mailing lists would shrink as more & more people learned about them?
Sam Crowley
On August 14, 2009 at 9:32 am
Hey Max,
It can frustrating as an outside looking in to see people continue to practice the same old’ online.
I’m not so sure others keep coming back, as much as there seems to be a new group of seekers looking for the quick fix.
Not sure if that market will ever disappear.
Keep doing what you do and not be distracted by others. Easy to say, tough to do but it’s the best method in the long run.
Peace,
Sam
Caroline O'Brien
On August 17, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Yes, there are many people who will be less than trustworthy and many more who are capable of wrongdoing and sometimes out right evil actions.
However, for every betrayal I have experienced and every set back from which I have learned, I can assure you I have been filled with awe at the numerous times I have been ‘down for the count’ only to find some new avenue open up to me. More amazing are the people who seem to step up out of nowhere to help me out of seemingly impossible situations when it seems I have finally ‘ hit the wall ‘, and there’s no way over / under / around or through it.
Every new associate or business contact involves a measure of
trust; it’s called a leap of faith for a reason. It doesn’t mean to blindly trust. ” The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel,
But do not dull thy palm
With entertainment of each
new-hatched unfledged comrade.”
( Polonius to Laertes – Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ – Act. I Scene 3 )
Go with what you know, but do your homework. This is true of anything: work / play / friendships / competition.
-O’Brien
Sarah
On August 20, 2009 at 6:53 am
I have just been knocked down! Not physically but in a business venture I was undertaking. As Naive as I am, I recommended a girl to join or group and undertake some admin work. I came back from a much needed two week holiday to discover that this girl along with a former worker have gone power mad and have more or less taken over my job and have been filling the directors full of non-sense. I met this girl yesterday and she was excited to tell me of a new idea that was going ahead next month. This put me in bad form as this was an idea that I stupidly enough mentioned to her a couple of months ago that I was going to do myself, which at the time she didn’t seem to eager on. I agree with: “When you truly love what you do, you do it so much better than people who don’t- simple as that”. I do believe that these two people are only in it for the money and that they don’t truly have a passion for it. I still have plenty more ideas which I will carry out independently. I really just have to take this as a learning curve and learn to beware of those who even seem trustworthy. As you said Sam, Just keep going and don’t get distracted by others!
Doug
On August 22, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Actually, the phrase is “Trust, BUT verify.” It is a Russian proverb, doveryai, no proveryai, which teaches to give someone a chance, but also do your homework and make sure they are who they say they are. In other words, not blind trust, but informed confidence. I think this is apropos to any relationship, whether personal or professional. Trust is something which is grown over time, starting with small things. And it starts with you.
There are times that I don’t really trust myself as much as others seem to. I don’t know how many times I’ve promised myself something, only to fail to deliver.
Jacques Portugaise
On August 23, 2009 at 6:57 am
Fortunately only a small percentage of people are ’suppressive’ and even a smaller percentage are dangeroous. I read that the best way to defeat those people is to yourself flourish and prosper, that drives them insane!. As Sam says, ignore the noise and chatter, stay true to yourself and your dreams, keep your ethics anf integrity.
Iwan Junifanto
On August 24, 2009 at 10:58 am
Thank you for sharing this Sam
Donna Kilgallon
On September 1, 2009 at 9:54 am
My grandad always had a saying “to thine own self be true”.
Although he has been gone for many years now, through many times of adversity I have heard and continue to hear grandad telling me this and it keeps me strong and indeed true to myself.
Brandi
On September 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Hi Sam / Christy Received an email from you with a link to support and forum website, after purchasing ‘Six Days to Saturday’ but I am unable to use the Microsoft service due to computer problems I have not yet been able to clear up / secure our PC from. Made too many mistakes from my [and spouses] own naive ways in previous years. When sending copies to my addresses, I don’t receive them and do not know if they reach their destination / diverted to those who have latched on to our information. Guess one day it is just a matter of buying a new PC and starting fresh, as the backlash from these persons that gained entrance was overwhelming. Thank God for friends that knew me and stood by with support and seen me through the time of those who tried to destroy me to a pile of hopeless human flesh. They just didn’t know who they were messing with, as I’m still smiling, or should I say laughing – as I’ve known for years that I am a Champion, headed for my Saturday being everyday.
These challenges were all due to an Identity Theft attempt last year, after trying to begin a home based business and without the computer skills it takes to jump in with the ‘big guys / gals’ / money makers [movers & shakers], I didn’t get the business off the ground and closed shop.
I cannot re-submit my questions from [Questions - About your forum], when I stated that I was going to submit another email titled ‘About your forum #2′, which I didn’t as I was becoming computer fatique and it was late. Will do so as I have to run and prepare for an event I’m attending in a couple hours.
I’m in a 100,000% agreeance with the statements you made above, because I became involved with 2 con artist in real life / not over the Internet, it was amazing when I stood up to them and seen them shut down shortly after. Ran off like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs. The backlash has been / was painful, as they used my name in all their contacts I had networked and established over the previous years. One tried to re-establish in our city, under a new scam that was no different then like having a Trojan horse within our Church congregation, so I put my foot down and spilled the beans, after attending one of his little sign up / pep rally meetings with my Pastor. Heard his name prasied near the end [President / Founder] and when we went for coffee I filled her in on what she had bought into. She advised me to forgive him [which I already did, as those two are God's responsibility / problem, not mine], and agreed to go to a second meeting, with my spouse. That time he had guest sign in under the name of who invited them, as the first time he didn’t have a clue who invited me the in the first sign in that I attended. When my husband heard his name mentioned during the rally, I was chuckling under my breath, as he was sitting between our Pastor and me and went as white as a ghost. Thought he was going to get up and walk out, but he sat through the hog wash speeches of those who thought this guy was the next best thing to sliced bread, with all their praises. Our Pastor and those who signed in, cut their loses and got out quickly, when my husband told them what they needed to know.
Love the quote from R. R. above, as that’s how I’ve tried to see each person I meet in life…but as my brother and I have repeatedly said to each other ‘Once bit twice shy’ and ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!’ Take care Sam, you are a gem, within a world of fool’s gold. Also, for those who have blogged and just getting their second wind from being burnt on raw deals….I can’t remember where this quote came from but it is a good one. ‘It is not what experience you have had in life that counts. It is what you do with that experience that counts.’ or something close to that.
Saliha
On September 26, 2009 at 10:35 am
My husband was opposite of everything i thot he was. I loved and trusted him with my job, my life and everything. He promised me more love. But what i got was the exact opposite. He promised compassion for the hatred i got from my family memver but he did more harm. He took away my happiness, my dream and my life. He almsot got me killed/ But i thank God am alive now/ He stole my financial, socail and mental freedom by leaving me under lock and key without any contact to the outside world. I tried to find comapny on the internet but he refused to bpay the bill. And i became lonely again/ I developed my writing skills but he did everything to ensure that my books got nowhere as he knew i was going to gain recognition and financial freedom.
He deprived me of my well paying job, my car and my family. I left him three yrs ago. His life has never been the same till he died. Am now in mourning. i LOOK FORWARD to meeting someone who will love me for me and has the fear of God in his heart.
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