I know you can be successful.
A pretty bold statement for sure but hear me out on this one.
Most people want to earn an income online but feel as though they don't have the knowledge, money or connections to sell their products.
Or they may lack the self confidence, thinking that success is reserved for the privileged few.
Maybe you don't want to have an online business and want to focus more offline but face the same challenges.
Here's a few things you need to know about me before we go any further:
- I'm not impressed by the size of a person's wallet
- The more "accessories" people have, the less impressed I am. Accessories can be defined as jewelry, fancy cars, big homes, etc.
- If someone positions themselves as a personal development guru, I immediately think they suffer from depression.
- If we have a conversation that lasts more than 10 minutes and you have not asked what I do, what I like or anything else that begins with who, what, where , when and how - then you're an ego-maniac.
These findings are unscientific of course but have allowed me to vet people pretty well throughout my corporate and entrepreneurial life.
When I was in corporate, I would always be leery of the person who was high on the corporate ladder.
Most of the time they had to step on many backs to get there. They had to kiss lots of backsides, remain fake and untrue to themselves, while treating subordinates like dirt. These executive's personal lives were a disaster, yet somehow they believed they could manage business differently - never happened.
If I told you how many alcoholics, adulterers and uber-insecure bundles of fluff I ran across in corporate, you'd fall over.
Or not.
You may say 'Yep, seen it myself Sam.'
At any rate, my point is this:
(quoting the great Depeche Mode)
People are people.
I have never, ever (and I mean Never) met a 'successful' business owner who didn't have as many, if not more flaws than you - probably way more.
The first key to being successful is to accept who you are but not where you are.
Difficult to do for some because they see others and want to emulate them. Trust me when I tell you - that is a curse. You don't know anything about these people except for the persona they have created. For most, it's an alter-ego. It's not who they really are when nobody is around.
Every now and again I attend events with some pretty well known gurus. I use the term guru because everyone knows what it means, not because these people are at the top of the food chain. I operate in the rare space of speaker and Internet marketer. Most speakers don't have a clue about online marketing and most online marketers would rather die than speak in front of an audience. I enjoy both.
Ironic isn't?
I stuttered pretty bad as a kid and young adult but found a way to cure most of it myself. I actually recorded a short video explaining how I solved my stuttering problem.
If you want, you can view it here, or send it to someone you know that has a speech problem: How To Overcome Stuttering
I have always had a passion for speaking but pretty much stunk at it because I couldn't get the damn words out of my mouth. Finally I had an epiphany: Just go with it Sam and stop worrying what others might think. A week from now they're going to forget what you said and you'll still be agonizing over a few words you messed up. Forget it dude, move on!
Great advice for business and in life - just move on.
People who love you will love you no matter what you say or do. People who judge will always be a critic. Forget them and focus on you and your passion.
I can't tell you how many idiots have mockingly said "Hey, every day is Saturday {snicker}." Then they go back to their job (and spouse) they hate, while wondering how the hell they're going to pay their bills this month.
Those snickers don't happen much any more, as you might imagine.
However, when I was fist launching EverydayIsSaturday.com six years ago, it happened daily. Mostly from that group of insecure bundles of fluff I referenced earlier.
Guess what those people are doing today?
Bingo!
The exact same thing they were doing six years ago - critiquing others as their meaningless life drags on.
You need to understand this concept. It will empower you to take action and go after that great idea that's been burning inside of you. Once you realize that all those successful 'gurus' you see online have larger problems than you could ever have, you will see that success is waiting for you.
When I'm at events I'm usually one of a very small group of people who are not divorced. I say this not to judge others but to illustrate the point that no matter how large your bank account is, if you can't see your kids every morning when you wake up, how happy can you really be?
Let me go one step further:
At a recent event, I was invited to a VIP dinner with a host of personal development speakers & trainers. There were nine people at the table. Eight had been divorced at least once ( I was the solo married person).
Isn't that odd?
These people have home study courses they charge thousands of dollars for about how to live the life you love but can't keep a marriage together. I know statistics are not in favor of a successful marriage but you would think more than one out of nine "experts" would figure out how to keep it together.
My wife would be the first to tell you that being married to an entrepreneur is tough. She thought she was marrying a successful executive with a lifetime of security. A person who would offer stability for her and our children. Then one day I decided to pull the rip cord on my career and go for it, turning our lives upside down.
There were many nights of pillow talk when my wife would ask "When do you think we'll be out of the woods? When will the creditors stop calling? When are you going to hit it big?"
She asked those questions often and had every right to ask over and over again.
I quit my job (the first time) with two kids under the age of five AND she was six months pregnant with our third. I filed bankruptcy seven days after our youngest daughter was born. Talk about adversity!
But we stayed together because we both wanted the same thing and it had nothing to do with money. It had to do with a life of Dad being more than just a name. We wanted our kids to know both of their parents and both of us being active in their lives. From drop offs and pickup at school, to impromptu trips to McDonald's. Pretty simple stuff.
I focused on differentiating myself from the masses and leading with my flaws. I never tried to be someone I wasn't or having money I didn't have.
Every Day Is Saturday is still around because I could care less what the nay-sayers thought and realized that the people who pretended to be experts were hurting more than I was, I just admitted it and helped others who suffered from the same problem I once had of unleashing the entrepreneur within.
I'm not a life coach. Is there really such a person? Who could possibly have all the answers to everything that happens in life?
Another great business lesson is this:
Generalists get paid, specialist get wealthy.
The more specific you are, the better your chances of success.
When someone introduces themselves as a life coach I think "You must be kidding." How can you build a brand and a following with something as general as that?
That's like a roofer saying "I build cities." It's impossible.
Find a niche within a niche that you are extremely passionate about and go for it.
Success will find you eventually but it won't be overnight. You see, success is a funny bird. It knows when people are just causal about their dream and can sniff out a phony in a New York minute.
If you give your marriage a try, you'll be divorced.
If you give parenting a try, your kids will end up with in the wrong crowd.
Why then, would you ever think that giving your business ' a try' would end up in anything other than massive failure.
The gurus you see online did one thing correctly and that was to stick with it.
They may not be who they say they are.
They may be more messed up than a 5 yr old's playroom.
They may suffer from every affliction known to man but...
They stuck with it.
And that's the key.
Success doesn't care how smart you are.
Success doesn't care how good-looking you are.
Success doesn't care how you were raised as a child.
All success wants to know is "How bad do you want it?"
When you stop moving, you're dead.
I'm writing this post on Monday morning at 9:30am when most people are at a job. Not a day goes by when I don't think about how miserable I used to be stuck in traffic, thinking of all the stuff waiting for me at work.
More importantly, I would think of what my kids were doing while I was gone for the next 8-10 hours.
When I shared this with people who had jobs, they would say "Sam, get over it. Your wife and kids understand you work and that's just the way it has to be. How else would you support them? We're all in the same boat"
I'm happy to say that I jumped ship and you can too.
The waters are rough, the seas will rise and you may feel a bit nauseous at times but the rewards are enormous.
Hang in there.
Don't pay attention to negative thoughts or negative people.
Understand adversity happens to all of us every single day.
When feel yourself asking "Will this ride ever get better. Will I ever realize my dream?"
Understand that's just Success saying "I'm still here waiting for you. How badly do you want it?"
Don't die with the music still in you.
Go for it!
34 Responses to “The Big Guru Lie. It's All A Facade”
Sam,
A perfect post for the day after Easter which a lot of folks consider the start of a new season for them.
I too have noticed the number of folks who talk the talk but when you look close up..don't walk it...but they found something to market and have stuck with it. I am not interested following that example...
I like the folks who snicker and have no clue about what you do but all they do is complain about where they are at. It does get tiresome after awhile. That's why I love connecting with people on line who do get it.
It's like we have found a secret...hard work for sure...up and down for sure...but we know where we are headed and can be happy along the way! Now that is living...
Happy Monday Sam
Sam,
Very insightful post, your passion and honesty are bursting through with every word. Thank you for speaking directly to me. I was recently having thoughts about whether I made a mistake when I quit my job to pursue entrepreneurial interests. Your encouraging words has helped me to realize that I am headed in the right direction. Thank you for all that you do and continued success.
Hi Jean,
Hard work seems to be the best kept secret. Online marketers have made "no work" sound glamourous.
I can't think of any road to success that does not involve hard work bur when you really love what you do, is it really work?
Thanks Jesse,
I'm glad this post found you at the right time.
Keep going!
Sam,
You're awesome. I can't say it enough. You always manage to hit a chord with me and set me back on the right track. I've been feeling down recently and actually entertaining thoughts of giving up my dream of building my new business (not very seriously mind you... just a lukewarm cup of tea kind of "entertaining")... and you remind me of all the reasons why I DON'T want to do that!
I'm struggling right now because a lot of the people that I had learned to count on for support in my old business are having difficulty seeing me in my new role. They don't feel I have enough "credentials" or "training" in what I am proposing to do -- help people achieve their full potential.
I KNOW I make a difference in people's lives. I've received that feedback again and again before I even began monetizing what I do. And like someone once told me (was it you?), you don't have to be all the way at the TOP of the mountain in order to help those who haven't even got a clue where the mountain IS!!
Please keep spreading your word, Sam. You're an inspiration to us all.
Sam, I agree that success does not matter the way you look,how your were raised, or how smart you are. How bad do I want it? BAD SAM I want it bad. What is the next course I should take. Glad I saw you in Puerto Rico at WMI event. Enjoyed it SAM!
Sam,
Great Monday morning inspiration to help me get to Saturday!
Thank you,
Thank you so much Sam, that's EXACTLY what I needed to read right now.
Jean
Hi Sam,
My stuttering started 17 years ago when I decided I needed toi speak up and out. Up until then the problem had lain underground., The more I tried to speak up the less I was able to speak. I realised I had to stop `trying` as this made it worse.
Some time ago a hiddenmessage came up frommy past - `I had been told I could kill`people by just speaking, although I realise this is quite irrational.it doesn`t help much. .I have come to the conclusion that the only way I can save people is not to speak. But I won`t accept this conclusion and continue on my speaking journey, I can`t really say to myself can I? that it doesn`t matter if I kill people as a way of getting around this challenge as I would feel like some kind of monster, and I would be in conflict with a principle I hold which isnot to harm people, nor can I say it doesn`t matter as it does. This is a big learning curve for me.
Your email could not have come at a more propitious time, thank you Sam.
Sam,
Thank you for inspiring me, I have been working on my passion for months trying to get a "Guru" to assist me with marketing my information online, it's amazing how all of you so called Guru's tell people that they don't need money to get started, that is the fartherest thing from the truth because the first thing that they ask you to do is to buy their CD's and pay a fee each month for coaching
I know that there is no such thing as a free lunch, however, you should not make the claim that you don't need money to live your dream.
Thanks helping me to continue pushing forward.
Sam,
Great post! I love your comment "accept who you are but not where you are." I think realizing that we are not our circumstances can be very freeing in a world of expectations, many self imposed.
Your talk in San Juan was really motivating and I enjoyed meeting you. Your authenticity and positivity radiates!
Regards,
Mary
Fired up, Sam!! Awesome follow up to Easter Sunday! It's a time of renewal, rebirth, and reflection of where we are and where we are headed. I'm thankful every day that I fired my boss last October and never look back. Most of the people in my circle thought I was crazy, but a few were supportive. Those few are the ones I'm still in touch with today. The naysayers (nattering naybobs of negativity) are history.
Russ
Sam, you've hit the nail right one the head! For me the the big problem has been FEAR, Fear of rejection, fear of a lot of things... then a few weeks ago a mentor said to me "are you ready to be a man, or are you a woos." Bingo! that changed everything. Is it hard, yes! Am I doing it, yes! My congratulations to you and my other mentors... I will persevere!
Aloha my friend.
I receive many emails from many of the gurus but usually don't have time to read them. However, this morning I had that exact feeling you described in my stomach . But I can't ever imagine going back to work for someone else. I know I opened your email this morning because I was in need of some inspirational words to get it done today. To go in and give it all I've got and know that all the hard work will pay off. For those who haven't done any meditation I strongly suggest you start. I do it every morning and I imagine my life when my dreams have all come true. Knowing that all of it is out there waiting gives me everything I need to keep going.
Hello Sam,
I think that the very first time I ever read your writing, I was hooked. I have worked a career that put food on the table and shoes on my kids for for 29 years. I have been a field supervisor for the Redlands Unified School District for so long that it was second nature for me. In March 2007 I had brain surgery that left me with some disabilities. I was still able to work, although it came harder to me. Last year a new department head was hired. She immediately rearranged the department to increase more work with less staff. Since her arrival she has consistantly tried to push me out the door because of my disability; even to the point where the state picked up a harassment case for me. That was last year and the state still hasen't even called my witnesses. Work has become more intense and I have become more weakened and miserable because of the increased work load she put on me. I really just want to walk away, but I need the medical because I still have a tumor. Disability would put me at only fraction -, hrdly enouth to pay rent, and then I would be monotored as to how much "other" types of work I could do. I still want to contribute and be a functioning part of society. What would you do?
Sam,
This is EXACTLY why I'm drawn to you (and your message).
You are the ONLY motivational speaker I've ever witnessed who 'speaks from the heart' and doesn't try to be someone (some THING) he's not. How refreshing! Just the plain and honest truth - presented in a package that I can identify with, that I like, that speaks to ME in a way that I can understand.
(Sam = What you see is what you get + stuttering and all)
As far as I'm concerned, thank God you're NOT like that "huge host of personal development speakers & trainers" with their blah, blah, blah. I can't learn from them - because I can't BELIEVE them.
(their OUTSIDE doesn't match their INSIDE)
Dana Ross Martin
Cowboy Shaman
Hi Sam,
Thanks for your fantastic post. I appreciate that you're more about telling it like it is, rather than how some might want to hear it. I, like you, left a JOB almost 2 1/2 years ago because I was surrounded by negative lost souls, missing my children's lives and seeing no better future if I didn't make a change. Despite not knowing how I was going to make ends meet, I knew I needed to make a change and start directing my life rather than participating in it.
Today, things are still uncertain and in fact a bit unnerving I have a vision of where I'm going and I'm commited to seeing it through. I've been able to participate in my families' lives and wouldn't change it for any amount of money.
Thanks for being an inspiration and a great example of what can happen when we recognize the pain of staying the same is far greater than the fear of the unknown and making change.
Best of Success,
Dan Giercke
A Mentored Life
Hi Sam
Brilliant article ha! One of the main reasons I set up Panetta Healing was because I was very aware of just how much segregation there is in healing - and while they are segregated they will continue to think "in the box".... in the homeopathic world for instance I've seen good and bad - trouble is that the patient just ends up thinking the remedy doesn't work - when in fact its the homeopath who got the remedy wrong in the first place. I charge for my own Panetta Healing Course - but the cost is nothing in comparison to the massive fees all these New (so called) Age thinkers are charging - a true money spinner! (I don't charge everyone anyway - only those that are in work). So many "out there" are calling themselves "Masters" Gurus etc. Yet in the end all they are doing are spinning the same things that true Masters of Old like Pythagoras and Co knew about already.....and in fact even far before Pythagoras...... so how can they call themselves "Masters" etc. One thing is for sure - the higher the pedestal they sit on - the further it is to fall......
Thank you for speaking out - the world needs more of you ha! With my own students I tend to say that we teach and learn from each other - we each share our gifts with each other. Very often I find that those who have least - often have most in their hearts.
You can't take a Mercedes with you when we leave this Earth Plane - but we can take Love...... in fact its the only thing we can take. The rest will just rust away eh.....
Thank you for sharing your inspiring words - brilliant.
Liz - Panetta Healing
I needed these words ""Don’t pay attention to negative thoughts or negative people."" , I am working on it and now i have read the article so it comes just in time
Thank you
Hi Sam,
You was the highlight of my WMI Puerto Rico trip. You excelled again in today E mail. I loved it and may inspired! I consider myself still a newbe in this net work world because I joined in October through CCP, work consistantly EVER DAY and still have not the first sell, need a mentor but this widow can't afford one. It'll take a while to get Puerto Rico Trip paid off on social security, but one thing about it I am NOT a quiter. I love this work and will not give up, always open to advise and your inspiration.
Keep on keeping on and encourage all newbes.Jean Ann
Hi Sam
Yes - its all about spending time with our children- awesome - love your message
Regards
Sean
Great post, working on my passion to get to everyday being Sat. Looking forward to seeing you this week-end in Orlando!
Konnichi wa Sam,
When I listen to you or read your messages, I feel a hand reaching out. It may be a thought or a modestly-priced tool you have on offer, but the hand reaching out is always firm and the goods genuine.
You have the key to our self-imposed prison - a prison consisting of a landscape painted in our minds with a series of subtle and not-so-subtle impressions and suggestions by our friends, colleagues, detractors and even arch enemies.
I can see the Light when I look into your eyes and feel your heart. Thanks for being part of my growth process. You are doing well.
Sam,
I am so glad we met you in Puerto Rico. You and your story have changed my outlook completely. Your straight talk is a refreshing voice, and I am learning to write from the heart rather than trying to impress. Thanks for being real.
Dude , with your outrageous remark I'm surprised you are not shot yet(joking of course) , I think you are cool and inspiring , would love to meet you in person some day , I'm From Hong Kong and there is very different mentality right here !
)
Love yo shit
Warmest and coolest ,
me
One of your greatest postings..loving it!
Sam , I am so glad that I read your email and read all the comments. Great stuff everybody , keep up the great work and keep us motivated.
As I read your comments about success a wonderful quotation came up
"Success is the intentional , pre-mediated use of choice and decision. Unless you choose with certainity - what it is you want , you accept table scraps by default."
Thank you all for your comments really appreciated.I have already started my own business and will give full details once the website is fully up and running.
Wow! Totally agree with everything you said Sam.Ten years ago Jerry and I started looking for a way we could spend more time with each other and our 4 children. We were running 3 traditional businesses at the time, thinking they would give us the lifestyle we desired. Even though we made a good income we never had time with each other or our children and knew there had to be a better way. Over the next 5 years after many nay- sayers telling us we were crazy, we got rid of those businesses and now both work from home and love helping others also achieve the lifestyle and time with their family that they deserve.
Jerry and I have been married for 30 years & like most relationships had our ups and downs. Sometimes I marvel at how lucky we are that we found our perfect match in each other at such a young age.
Even though we have traveled extensively and feel really blessed for the fun and wonderful experiences we have shared together the births of our 4 beautiful, healthy children are still the most memorable.
We have had many people tell us how lucky we were over the years, even though we faced many set backs and adversities over our journey.We always refused to focus on the challenges and just kept moving forward focusing on our goals and never giving up on our dream.
Awesome post Sam! You are truly an inspiration to me and everyone on this blog.
"Accept who you are but not where you are"... this quote resonates within me. I grew up in a household where appearances or at least the perception behind it mattered most. So growing up was a challenge for me because I never really got to tap into who I truly was as an individual or what I wanted to be.
Through the years, I have realized that I am not the only one that struggled with these issues. And so... the discovery of my journey has taught me to "Accept who I am... and Who god has created me to be".
Meeting you in Puerto Rico and listening to you speak has re-ignited that "FIRE" to be more than what or who I was yesterday and today!!
I pray that you will always be blessed in all you do and that you continue to be a blessing to others!
Great! I am unable to view your video on "How To Overcome Stuttering".
May request you to e mail copy on my e mail address given.
Wish best wishes and very high regards,
AGP
Sam,
Thank you for the inspiring thoughts and encouragement. I have been building my online business Working Mom Workouts and I did not realize how challenging it would be. Also, not to mention all the products I got sucked into by all the so called "Gurus" promising that this would give me all the traffic I would need! I am a sucker no more though! Anyway, I am going to keep my head down and keep moving forward. I will say I do love the fact that being my own boss and having everyday as Saturday is awesome and the continuing motivating factor!
Well spoken Sam. What you wrote really came from the heart. Even Donald Trump says not in compare ourselves with other people in his book "How to get Rich". Because we all have our own blueprint.
"When we talk about it, it's a dream. When we start to envision it, it gets exciting. When we get a plan, it's possible. But when we schedule it, it's real." - Anthony Robbins-
Well said Sterling.
Schedule your success....
Great comments from everyone, glad to see the fire is still burning and you're all not dead yet;)
Success to all of you - way to kick off the week!
Sam
Thank you Sam for sharing your wisdom and your courage to speak the truth. I understand how you feel about life coaches. I am a life coach, but I do not claim to have all of the answers. I help people get in touch with their own wisdom and discover their strengths. By the way, I have been married for 18 years. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful and patient wife.
Del Hickson
http://www.TheLifeCoach.com